Perhaps Doom: The Dark Ages Didn’t Need Mechs and Dragons After All

Alright, let’s dive into this with a little unscripted chaos and maybe a bit of caffeine-induced rambling. Here we go:

So, Doom: The Dark Ages, right? You know how sometimes a game just hooks you with its gameplay? That’s kinda what’s going on here. The shield parrying? Absolutely a fun twist in the FPS universe. And the weapons—man, there’s something about that shotgun that just never seems to get old. It’s like, my personal fave. But then… and here’s where it gets a bit wonky, there are these parts where you’re suddenly in a giant mech or riding some neon, techno dragon. Yeah, I know, sounds wild. Except it feels like maybe—I’m just throwing this out there—it doesn’t mesh? Like, at all, with the rest of the parry and shoot vibe. Maybe it’s just me. Or not.

So, imagine you’re stomping around in the Atlan, this towering mech thing. It’s kinda like living inside a kaiju flick. You’re all, smashing buildings like they’re made of gingerbread houses. But here’s the kicker, instead of beam swords or whatever, you’re mostly just punching out demons. And, for reasons I’ll never understand, you don’t get a chainsaw shield. Seriously? I mean, they had one job, right? Instead, you’re doing this awkward dance out of the way of demon swings. Feels like a missed opportunity to bring some of that frenetic energy from the regular gameplay.

But hey, there’s this one bit where it actually gets cool. Big freaking gun. You pick it up and you’re all set to blow away everything in sight. Fun times! Except, what the heck—your gun decides it only charges when you do Matrix-style dodges. Absolutely logical, right? I mean, it seems like a gimmick just for the sake of a gimmick. And the worst part? The gun gets tossed aside once there’s nothing else around to obliterate. Like, why not let me keep it and just go full rampage?

Now let’s chat dragons. Yeah, those mechanical, laser-winged things that somehow make flying feel like a chore. Doesn’t make sense, right? You’d think being on a flying flamethrower would mean mayhem and chaos. Instead, it’s mostly hanging around, waiting for enemy turrets to do their thing so you can dodge, just to load up your guns. Feels as exciting as watching paint dry while sitting on a rollercoaster that’s not moving.

But, okay, not everything was a snooze-fest. There were moments where you’re zooming around, messing with demon flyers. Those bits? Kind of felt like someone tried squeezing a space shooter into the game. If only they stuck with that, skipped all that dodge-to-fire nonsense, and let us just… shoot? Pure, unleashed destruction. Now that would’ve been sweet.

All wrapped up, Doom: The Dark Ages tries. The medieval tech vibes? Oh, yeah, they’re a win. And swinging a chainsaw shield never gets old. But these mech and dragon parts? Let’s just say they feel like a band’s off-key guitar in an otherwise killer song. Next round, maybe dragons will roar instead of purr. Fingers crossed.