[Rewrite] Cat from Hell: Review of the Cat Simulator on PlayStation 5

So, I just got into this game called “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator” from Upscale Studios. Sounds wild, right? Cats causing chaos with a Christmas remix blaring in the background. Kind of thought it’d be my kind of messy fun. Boy, was I off track. Here’s the scoop on this one.

So you’re this cat. Yep, another feline already calls this place home. But here comes the twist: ol’ Santa drops you in by mistake on Christmas night. A classic setup for feline rivalry, right? Suddenly, a flower pot breaks and guess what? The blame’s on you. Your mission? Framing the other cat and getting it booted out. Except there’s Grandma. Always watching. Kind of reminded me of my nosy neighbor. No escape. Get caught? Game over.

The game’s about stealthily sending stuff crashing to the ground, trying to pin it on the other cat. Fun? Eh, should’ve been. But it fell flat faster than a pancake. Side note: pancakes. Love them. Sorry, back on topic.

But man, the execution is… well, let’s just say, it’s not great. Grandma and the other cat? They move like they’re stuck in wet cement, constantly getting snagged on chairs and tables. Makes you wanna shout at the screen, but not in a good way.

And hey, even when you time your mess-making perfectly, the game acts like it’s got a mind of its own. Suddenly, the blame’s either misplaced or just gone. There was this one ridiculous moment when the rival cat got buried in a couch cushion. Voila, I won. Logic? None.

Oh, and the controls? Oh boy, they’re about as smooth as a porcupine. Your paws look silly and the view’s clunky. Felt like a time warp back to early PlayStation days. Nostalgia can be good, but not this time. Grandma sounds like she’s speaking through a tin can — if you can even hear her over the ho-hum audio.

Trophies? Nada on the Platinum front. Probably thought that would attract the trophy hunters. Nope. You break stuff and frame the cat, but it felt like ticking off a chore list. Sandbox mode lets you wander sans rival cat. Not quite sure why they thought that’d be exciting. Maybe someone loves wandering aimlessly? Who knows.

Really hoped it would be a $4.99 mirthful ride. Instead, it was like trying to build a house of cards in a windstorm. And on the PS5? You’d expect way better. It’s more like a frustrating chore list than a fun chaos spree. Play at your own risk, folks.

Anyway, there it is. In all its messy glory. Peace out.